Your Child's Growing Brain

Sunday, 6 September 2009

Your child's brain directs and programs the growth of everything in the body. Thanks to explosive advances in neuroscience and technical equipment that lets scientists actually see inside the human brain, we know a great deal about how this central organ develops.
How the brain sizes up
Most of the brain's wiring is established during the first few years of life. At birth it was only about a quarter of its eventual adult size. But by age 2, it has reached three-fourths of adult size! And by 5, the brain will be very close to adult size and volume.

Of course, this doesn't mean your child knows everything a grown-up does by kindergarten. Experience still counts for something!


What this growth means is that the structures of the brain involved in learning, memory, motor control, and every other brain function have been established by age 5. These structures and the neural pathways that send information between them get used and reused throughout life.

These connections, called synapses, are the basis of all the movements, thoughts, memories, and feelings a person has.
Encouraging brain development
No two brains are identical, not even in identical twins. Exactly what kind of connections are made between the neurons (cells) in the brain depends on how the brain is used, the variety and richness of circumstances it's exposed to, and genetics.

In the first year of life, when critical emotional components of the brain are being formed, a secure and predictable environment is most important, including lots of touching and having needs met promptly.

Also key to brain development in the first three years are being talked to, being played with, and having a varied, stimulating environment — balanced by opportunities to rest, which is when the brain reorganizes itself.

These very simple but vital things set the stage for all later learning.
Making strong connections
Surprisingly, the brain of a 2-year-old has trillions of connections — double the number that an adult has! The brain grows connections in response to all kinds of input in order to adapt and survive. Over time, certain connections are used again and again while others fall by the wayside.

This normal process, called neural pruning, explains why it's easiest for a child to learn the precise accent of a language while very young. If the brain isn't exposed to that language regularly, certain synapses wither away and the brain is no longer able to hear or form certain sounds as easily. Neural pruning also explains why routine and repetition are so important to a young child. They facilitate learning and help the brain understand what's important.

Although most brain development occurs during the first three years of life, the school years continue to foster a beehive of busy, buzzing neurons. It's easy for children to learn, especially from about age 3 to age 6 — not just academics, but social rules, dinosaurs' complex names, how to play sports and games, directions, how to work gadgets, what goes where.

The impulse control and judgment parts of the brain, however, develop later in the school years and aren't completely activated until after adolescence.

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Your anxious child

Is it normal for my grade-schooler to feel anxious?

Anxiety is a normal part of a child's behavioral and emotional development. And the older she gets, the broader her concerns become. In the early elementary years, kids often worry about school, getting along with classmates, and pleasing their parents. If your child feels she's failing at any of these, she may feel anxious. She may also react to family stress — divorce, financial troubles, illness — or issues unfolding in the world-at-large. And although it's difficult to watch your child worry, it's important to note that it's normal. In many instances, anxiety has some benefits, like keeping kids alert to their world. Anxiety can encourage positive action to deal and cope with the challenges of daily life.
Are there certain kinds of anxiety common to 6- to 8-year-olds?


Absolutely. Below is a quick explanation of some of the most common:

Common fears. Six- to 8-year-olds often worry about things they've seen, done and not enjoyed, heard about from friends, studied at school, or learned about in the media. Those fears can run the gamut from shots at the doctor's office to vampires, meteors, and clowns, to an episode of The X-Files that she watched without your consent. A tornado drill at school, for example, can blossom into a fear of natural disasters. Likewise, a child may develop a fear of flying after hearing about an airplane crash on the evening news. Certain phobias are common as well, such as a fear of spiders, heights, or germs. Some children are afraid of the water, others become phobic about dogs if they've been bit or growled at.


Social anxiety. The social demands of elementary school can be challenging. Having a fight with a friend, or trying to find someone to play with at recess or someone to eat with at lunch can all cause anxiety in kids at this age.

School avoidance. If your child whines, complains repeatedly of a stomachache, and begs to skip school, it probably means she is avoiding something or someone. It might be a classmate who's been teasing her or a subject at school that frightens her — or maybe a fire safety program is coming up, which she would prefer to skip.
What can I do?

When your child becomes anxious, follow your instincts and comfort her. But don't stop there. Find ways to help your child overcome her fears and worries. These tips may help:

Talk it out. Some of your child's fears are entirely normal, and denying them would be unrealistic. Grade-schoolers, for example, may be concerned because they're not mastering their schoolwork as quickly as others. Emphasize that each child learns at her own pace, and let her know that as long as she makes her best effort, neither you nor she should be disappointed.

Write it down. A simple and private way for your child to work through anxiety is to give her a journal — or if she's not proficient yet at writing, a sketchpad — to record her worries, through words or pictures. This can be particularly helpful for the child who is reluctant to discuss her anxieties. Keeping a journal can also be cathartic for a grade-schooler who doesn't realize she worries about the same things repeatedly — losing her soccer match or fighting with friends — and needs to get some perspective on her troubles.

Lower your expectations. Your anxious child may be trying to tell you that she's overloaded — that the demands of friends, school, music lessons, and sports have mushroomed out of control. Consider whether you've overbooked your child's time with too many extracurricular activities or chores. You might ask her how she'd like to lighten her load. Maybe, for instance, Girl Scouts could wait until next year.

Use humor. Laughter goes a long way toward lessening anxiety. If your child is worrying about, say, an upcoming violin recital, tell her the old trick of imagining the audience in their underwear. Funny stories put things in perspective, and if she learns to laugh, those awkward moments won't seem so awful.
When should I seek professional help?

For most kids, worrying is a manageable fact of life. But for some out-of-control anxiety can become a major stumbling block. Talk to your pediatrician if your child's anxieties interfere with family activities, prevent her from making friends, become an excuse to stay home from school, disrupt sleep, result in compulsive behavior, or cause physical symptoms. If necessary, your doctor can refer you to a family counselor or child psychiatrist.
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Weaning tips from moms who've been there

Gradually cutting back the number of times you breastfeed during the day is the weaning method of choice for experienced BabyCenter moms. Not only did a slow approach help stave off the breast engorgement and depression that can accompany early or abrupt weaning, but it made the transition to a bottle or cup an easy one.

While some moms had no problem nursing a toddler through a second pregnancy, many found the physical demands too much and opted to wean at that time. Teething prompted others to start cutting back on nursing. What wasn't recommended? Going cold turkey. In fact, those who tried it swore they'd never do it again.


Here are weaning strategies sent in by members of the BabyCenter community. We hope they'll help you with your own weaning decisions.

Snack vs. breast

I nursed for almost 12 months and started weaning around 11, by dropping a feeding out every few days until the evening meal was the last one left. I replaced it with a snack and whole milk before his bath and stories. Then after reading a few books, I rocked him and sang to him for a few minutes before placing him in his crib.
—Maria

I weaned my baby at 10 months and it was really easy. I just started giving him a cup with some juice at snacktime, and a bottle instead of nursing once a day. Then I increased the bottle to twice a day, and so on, until he was completely off the breast.
—Jennifer
Let your child lead the way

In spite of my mother telling me that it was "embarrassing" for me to still be nursing my son at 18 months, I let him tell me when he wanted to wean and at what pace. We got down to just twice a day for a month or so. He was finally completely weaned at 20 months. I didn't even realize he was weaned until one day it dawned on me that he hadn't nursed for almost a full week. No emotional trauma, no engorged breasts. Just a happy and loving end to a very special relationship.
—Maridee

I'm still nursing my 22-month-old. He's been drinking out of a cup for over a year and eats a wide variety of solid food. The breast is mainly a comfort thing. People tell me I should wean him, but I'm in no hurry and neither is he. He'll probably be weaned by the time he's 2, but if not, that's okay.
— Rachel

Change bedtime routines

My then 26-month-old daughter Elise's favorite time to nurse was at night, right before bed. Instead of nursing, I read to her from her favorite books. She would then drink her milk, and snuggle into the pillows ready for sleep. It took a few weeks to get her used to the routine — and some crying — but we learned to bond in a different way.
—Jackie

Introduce the cup

I started giving my son a cup periodically at about 6 months. When I stopped breastfeeding him at about a year, he was so used to the cup that he didn't even care that I'd stopped nursing him.
—Tina

A few months before my son's second birthday, he and I shopped for a special cup. He picked out a red one with a built-in straw. I began to substitute a cup of warm water for the breast and let him choose the times to give up nursing. He still uses his special red cup for his bedside water and we still cuddle in my bed every morning.

Avoid familiar nursing positions and places

When I became pregnant, my son was 19 months old. I started to cut down the feedings gradually until it was mainly at nap time and bedtime. As I became more pregnant, my breasts became tender and breastfeeding painful so I had to stop. I avoided getting into our favorite nursing positions and places so as not to trigger any breastfeeding associations.
—Jessica

Take it slow

I weaned my youngest gradually when she was 13 months old. First, for about a week, we substituted one nursing session for a sippy with cow's milk around lunchtime. Then we substituted a sippy for another feeding until we were down to two feedings a day, before nap and before bed. After a couple of weeks we were nursing before bed only. Then I cut the duration of the nursing sessions. We started with five minutes on each side. Then went to four minutes on each side for four days, three minutes for three days, and so on until, on the last day, we nursed for one minute on each side. By this time my daughter was ready to quit and I didn't have any engorgement!
— Heather

Tricks for the family bed

I weaned my daughter just shy of her second birthday. When she woke in the middle of the night, I would just hold her until she drifted back to sleep when she realized there would be no "nursy." I kept a cup of milk ready for her when she woke up in the morning, then we read, read, read until she got used to this pattern and not nursing. Bedtime was tough. I would just say no, Mommy has no more milk or I'd let her dad take her to bed and I stayed away until she drifted off.
—Cindy

A recipe for weaning

Here's a gentle weaning method to try: Finely chop a clove of garlic. Put chopped garlic and a tablespoon of olive oil in a small bowl. Let this sit for a few hours. Strain out the garlic. The oil should have a strong garlic odor. Put the oil on nipples. (You may want to protect your bra with a nursing pad.) My 2-year-old would ask to nurse and then tell me I was stinky and refuse. She'd check a few times a day, and lo and behold I was still smelly. I reapplied twice a day for about four days and then she stopped asking. We cuddled and read a lot of books during the transition time. There were no tears. I'm happy I nursed her as long as I did, but I was ready to wean!

Pros and cons of going cold turkey

I weaned my son on his first birthday because I thought that's what I was "supposed" to do. It was terrible! Neither one of us was ready to wean. The night I stopped nursing I was so engorged, and he was a screaming mess. Our lives were upside-down for weeks. With my next two children, I let them decide when to wean and it's been a much more pleasant experience.
—Terry

My son was 2 years and 8 months old when I stopped nursing cold turkey. I just told him my milk was all gone and he accepted it. This was after almost two years of doing everything else I could think of to wean him from nursing.
— Bambi

I had to wean my 24-month-old suddenly because I'm taking some medications that pass through breast milk. We had given him boxes of organic vanilla milk when we traveled, and he always liked it. So I bought a case and explained that he could not nurse because of the medicine. He cried hard the first night, but Dad got him to sleep. Now he reminds me to take my medicine and we cuddle a lot during the day. Only go cold turkey if you absolutely have to. I know it would be easier on both of us if we'd had the time to gradually wean.

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